Lessons

Over the course of five years of preparation to live life differently,  some lessons stand out: 

1. SET A GOAL

There is probably something you need to do, or have,  in order to make a big change in your life happen.  Figure out what it is.  A lot of the time, it will be money.  But if you already have that, maybe it's your health, or a new skills, or something else. 

Focus on that thing as your primary goal, with a secondary goal related to timing. My colleague who retired in her 30's said it took them a few more years than originally planned to hit their savings goal - but they learned their stress about hitting "THE" timeframe was unnecessary.  See #4.

I found a big monetary goal was helpful for changing my spending habits well in advance. (To be clear, I could have saved more.  But...see #4. ) Broad timeframes were also helpful for us in early stages of planning.  For instance, we knew we were going to do this when we were ready to leave Seattle, but not exactly when we would be ready to leave Seattle.   Once we were about a year out, deciding the month we would leave was helpful.  At six months, we decided THE DAY we would leave -- it became an important anchor for more detailed planning.

2. START EARLY...YEARS EARLY

Start downsizing a few years before you want to leave or move or whatever means “Go!” for you.  First, you have more stuff than you think you have - so it will take longer than you estimate.   Second, downsizing takes energy.  Physical, but also psychological and emotional energy.  You are making lots and lots of choices, which may be informed - as in our case - by a pretty fuzzy picture of your future life.  Even if you are not sentimental - choices take energy. Finally, you have to figure out what to do with the stuff you have decided not to keep.   Trash?  Give? Sell?  Strangers? Friends?  Family?  It just all takes time.

Start in the back of closets or the garage. There are likely lots of things you won't miss, so get it done early.   Or start with things that you can still access, but in a different form. I digitized all my CD's and photos well in advance of our leaving, for example.   We starting scanning all important paperwork, and got rid of most paper files.   Books were my heartache; most all were given away. But, you do have to make trade-offs.

Super Downsizing Pro Tip! (Curt & I have a friend who likes to give "pro tips" and "super pro tips!")  It wasn't until I put all the clothes I stilled owned on the floor and folded them by type (T-shirt, long-sleeve shirt, etc)  that I fully understood how much I had.  I went through my things many times over a period of six months, but didn't do this "everything out on the table" exercise until a week before we left.  PANIC!  I should have done this WAY earlier.  

3. TRY BEFORE YOU BUY

At some point, you have to jump in with both feet without knowing where the bottom is.  However, you can prototype and pilot test some aspects of your new life, to see how rose-colored your glasses are.  Particularly if you have never done what you are planning on doing,   it's worth the effort.  Example:  We first thought we'd buy an Airstream or an RV.  Overtime, we learned an Airstream would be way too expensive.  A $20 trip to an RV show revealed RVs can be pretty cheap - and that's not a good thing.  So, we thought about a Vanagon.   We first rented a Vanagon to see if we would actually like staying in a campground and living in a confined space.  We did! Then we started testing with our dog Rufus- she was a champ!   However, we learned that we (I?) could never live full-time in the Vanagon.  The Vanagon is also quirky and we needed to get WAY more informed than we currently were.  We also needed to get a lot savvier about selecting campgrounds and using VRBO/Airbnb.

Finally, the trick for us is to remember that what we are creating is meant to be different…and different doesn't always mean better.   Doing lots of research and field tests helped us to understand in advance the likely upsides and downsides of our choices.   

4.  DON'T CREATE MISERY

A great way to do this is to get clear about the few things that are important to YOU and hold onto them, while making trade-offs elsewhere.    This is a strong theme in all I've read (see The Idea).    My former colleague who retired in her 30’s had wine collection which was close to 500 bottles,  but didn't have a kitchen table.   Some people set aside money for a nice dinner monthly, or overseas vacations annually.   

Alternatively, figure out what's not important to you - but what you allowed yourself to be convinced is important - and stop caring about it.  This is particularly helpful to keep yourself from spending unnecessarily.   Example:  I figured out that I am not house proud. I do not own decorations. I do not have matching dishes.  I do not hang pictures.  I barely spend any money on housewares.  I know people who find a lot of joy in decorating - I prefer to spend my time and money elsewhere.  And that's fine. 

Bottom-line:  If the changes you are making are making you miserable, you are doing something wrong.